


Inexistence

by YongJoong



Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drunken Flirting, Fluff, I hope, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Will Add More Later, they get better together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:53:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22104370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YongJoong/pseuds/YongJoong
Summary: Song Mingi is a good student and has the biggest crush on Jeong Yunho. Unfortunately for him that crush is one sided and Yunho finds himself a boyfriend that he loves dearly.Broken hearted, Mingi did something he never thought he would ever do, and met someone he probably will regret later on.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Song Mingi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of bad decisions

Mingi hated reading. He doesn’t understand why every single little detail matters in the book when the author probably has shit writing. Mingi wanted to write, that’s the fun part of literature but nope, he is stuck with a boring book he doesn’t even like. But what can he do, he signed up for this bullshit of a course. 

He had stayed up until 2 am just to read most of the book he was given, and finally he had grown tired of reading and taking notes. Mingi reached out for his phone and checked his messages before going to bed. There was one from Yunho, sent around 12 am.

Did he wish me goodnight or something? Mingi had to slap himself to stop being delusional. Yunho liked someone else, he is fully aware of that.

「Hey Min. I know you are probably asleep right now but text me when you can. I need to tell you something」

_See? Nothing but to confirm that Mingi’s crush was one sided._

「Yo, you still up?」

A few minutes later, Mingi received a call from Yunho.

“You are usually asleep by now. So what’s the news you are exited about that you are hours past your bedtime?” Mingi asked as soon as he picks up the phone. His tone was sarcastic, as he knew Yunho was even more of a night oul than he can ever be.

“Hush now, it’s about Yeosang-“

“Oh? Did you finally got around to confess to him and sucked his dick or something?” Mingi cut off Yunho as soon as that name was out. As much as he knows about Yunho’s major crush on the boy, he wish he doesn’t act on it. Well, he is in love with Yunho after all.

“No!! Wait, yes. That happened”

And thus Mingi could not remember anything else from that phone call, just Yunho overspilling details.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was finally tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of attempting suicide

The morning has been harsh for poor Mingi. He had been overthinking everything about what Yunho had spilled to him, feeling both broken hearted yet happy for his best friend for finally getting the boy he liked. He was lost for a solid hour, just staring at the ceiling of his room. It wasn’t until he saw the sun that he realized he didn’t sleep, and his class starts at 9.

_Yunho finally got the man he’s after huh?_ The voices in his head began to talk. It wasn’t odd to him, the voices makes him calm most times, especially when stress starts to eat Mingi away.

_You’ll be alone again. Too bad you had a crush on your only best friend, now you’ll be you and start avoiding him because you want to give him space and stop being clingy, right?_ This was not like most time, this is stressful.

_Typical Mingi._

—

Mingi couldn’t focus in class. If before he was already halfway asleep every class, he was certainly asleep this time. Mingi was lucky he was quick, silently recording the entire lecture knowing he was not in the condition to even listen to the boring lecture. Recordings are not allowed, but luckily it was just an audio recording so it wasn’t obvious.

It’s been 3 weeks since Yunho started dating Yeosang, and in those 3 weeks, constant arguments between Mingi and the voice in his head. 3 week of sleepless nights because the voices just keeps him awake. He know it’s because he doesn’t talk to anyone else, but really, the voice is the most tiring thing to deal with.

10 minutes into the lecture and he was gone to slumberland, dreaming a life where Yunho didn’t confess to the Yeosang kid.

Yeosang was... well, he didn’t give off the best first impressions on Mingi. He was a design student like Yunho but Yeosang just felt weird. Mingi had met him a few times but everytime Yeosang was just so quiet, so mysterious to say the least. It’s not like he was bad, but he just gave off a bad vibe.

Class went on fast when you are asleep, what felt likea 5 minute dream was in reality was actually a 3 hour lecture.

Mingi was awoken by the noise of people rushing out of the lecture hall, everyone rushing and making a ruckus. Mingi took his phone and ended his recording, took a picture of the whiteboard incase there were important lecture notes he would have missed and started packing. The class was emptying quick, people must have been hungry during the boring lecture.

As soon as he packed, he headed out to the cafeteria nearest to him. His class ended as soon as lunch was starting, and he would be lucky to not be crushed by people who could turn into animals and forgot how to be decent human beings who would know how to fucking queue.

After he got his lunch and payed for it, he walked off to find a small corner of the cafeteria for himself. The cafeteria itself was already pretty full, he was lucky he was by himself and could sit somewhere not eye catching. He sat down and looked at his low effort of lunch, a petty chicken sandwich and a strawberry smoothie.

Mingi took a bite of the chicken sandwich.  _Tasteless and dry. Like my soul. How can they sell these? I am offended._ Mingi’s head was filled with thoughts as he stared off into the distance, watching as students became literal animals for food.

Than he saw him. The tall boy that had the smile that outshined the sun. The literal love of his life, er ex love of his life. And he was with his new boyfriend.

_Is little Mingi gonna rush eating and run away now? You know he probably already spotted you, bright red hair and all_ _._ Great.. It has started.  _Shut up and let me live for once. He probably didn’t saw-_ Mingi made direct eye contact with Yunho. _Shitshitshitshitshit._

Mingi shoved half the uneaten sandwich into his mouth, already getting up and ready to run. Mingi could see Yunho looking at him, panicked he open his phone and pretended to be in a call with someone who was very angry, who Mingi probably had promised to have lunch with. Yunho was getting closer, and Mingi was even more anxious.

Mingi bolted off. “Shut it, my class just ended... Well blame the fucking lecturer for being an asshole and ending the class late... I’ll be there in a minute.. no need to shout jeez” Mingi was talking to himself. He waved Yunho as he passed him and continued to ‘scold’ his ‘friend’ for being impatient.

_Library now!_ The voice in his head screaming at him. “Why are you mad? I’m the one struggling to keep a straight face here!” Mingi screamed back, hopefully not too loud so he doesn’t look crazy. _ Because you are a fucking idiot ._

—

It was at 9 pm when Mingi realised he was hungry.  _Let’s go have McDonalds._ The voice in his head started to talk.  _I want ice cream._

Mingi just sighed and started packing. Placing the books he took on the return shelf. Luckily he did have work to finish off at the library or he would just rot there waiting for whoever knows what. 

_Heads up!_ The voice suddenly started as soon as Mingi exited the library.  _I think I spot lover boy._

And the voice was not wrong (of course it’s not wrong it’s still Mingi’s that does the seeing) just a few blocks down the street. There they were, kissing under the streetlight, as he spots Yeosang walks into the building close to them.  _They can’t get any cheesier can they?_

As soon as the coast is clear, Mingi started walking. Letting the voices scream and mock both him and Yunho. 5 minutes and Mingi realised it stopped. “Finally some peace and quiet” he said underneath his breath.Mingi was silent all the way to the nearest McDonalds, ordering a simple beef burger and ice cream for the now silent voice in his head to take out.

Mingi made a detour from his college appartment and wondered off, only to realized he had reach a bridge located at the end of the college district. It was far from home but Mingi was contempt with it. He needed the clean air the bridge provided. Cold breeze from the ocean hugged him while colder breezes from the passing vehicles slapped him in the back. He was ok with it.

Mingi continued walking, he doesn’t know why, but he kept on walking. 3 weeks of avoiding Yunho, he was finally tired. He missed his best friend, but he just can’t bring himself to talk to him. The only people he ‘talked’ to were the voices in his head, and those drives him mad.

Even text messages has become so hard to do. Mingi still contacted Jongho, the only mutual friend that they had together and even then they didn’t talk often as Jongho needs to focus on his high school.  _Maybe once Jongho graduates you’ll stop being alone._ The voice, no, Mingi said to himself. Wooyoung, someone from one of his classes, tried to be friendly with him a few times, but their schedule was just too different to constantly hang out. Mingi was really alone right now.

_I want it too stop._

_You do?_

_Well yeah. It’s just so fucking tiring._

_Are you sure about it._

_100%_

_You’re not brave enough. You tried it once before._

_That was then._

_Are you brave now_

Mingi was shaking. His view started getting blurry as tears were forming in his eyes. He stared into the ocean.

_Probably_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. this was something i didn’t expect to happen. Who knows how the story will continue.
> 
> -YJ


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They start becoming closer.

_Probably_.

Mingi looked far into the sea.

“Probably.”

Mingi was tired. He was so done. 

“I might as well”

Mingi shouted, wanting to throw the ice cream from his hand into the sea. 

“Noooo.. Finish ice cream first” Mingi said to himself as he licked what to him was his final ‘meal’. 

He heard a chuckle beside him. It wasn’t any of the voices inside his head, it was a new voice. And it was very cute.

“You made me worried for a second there.” He was small, barely passed the average height for a male, probably could look bigger if he wasn’t wearing the largest coat that could engulf him. He had the saddest yet warmest smile Mingi had seen, and his face hid the smallest blush.  _Don’t get your hopes up. He probably ran here when he saw you contemplating to jump._

There was only sillence between them. Mingi didn’t know what to say. They just stood there, leaning against the railing, in the cold. Mingi could just watch the point where the sky meets the sea. 

“Are you still going to do it?” The man asked. Mingi just stared harder into the horizon. 

“Not tonight” they stood in silence both staring into the sea, thoughts to themselves. 

_You were lucky, but you knew you would have jump if no one came._

I know. 

_If he left you alone, would you still jump?_

After my burger, yes. 

_You are a weird one, Mingi._

That’s obvious by now. 

Mingi let out a small chuckle. He could hear the voices do the same. He was at peace with the voices for once. He stared harder into the horizon. He likes this. He was peaceful, not thinking about anything, with a small stranger drinking alcohol besides him. Alcohol?

“When and how the fuck did you get a fucking beer bottle?” Mingi asked, looking directly into the strangers eyes. 

“I’m sorry but I already drank 3.”

“Main question is still not answered”

The stranger just sighed and chugged the bottle dry. He opened his coat to reveal at least another 4 bottles. He let out a chuckle. Fuck, you are adorable alcoholic _._

Mingi just stood there, as the stranger chugs his fourth bottle. _Damn this bitch drinks like there’s no tomorrow._

“You know if you wanted one you could ask, rather than calling me a bitch” the guy said. His was looking at Mingi, with sleepy eyes and slightly pink from the alcohol. “Sorry but I don’t drink” Mingi said, blushing from the stare. 

“Don’t you want to try? You looked pretty stress” 

“Sure, but you are a stranger and I’m not going to be dumb with a random stranger tonight”

The guy let out a huge sigh, obviously annoyed by Mingi already. “Kim Hongjoong. 22. Music Major. I’m not a stranger anymore see?” He chimed, smilling so innocently like he didn’t down 4 bottles of beer already. “Plus you were going to jump, that’s pretty dumb”

Mingi just stared at him. And chuckled. 

“Song Mingi. 21. Literature Major.” Mingi said looking at Hongjoong, who had the biggest smile on his face, obviously happy. “God, why the fuck are you so fucking adorable?” Mingi said, not realizing he said that out loud. 

“God made me adorable, accept it” Hongjoong chimed, walking away from the university grounds. “My apartment is close-by. We don’t want to pass out in the cold, no matter how suicidal we feel. Plus more beer” he pumps his fist in the air. 

Adorable. 

_Adorable mistake._

Who cares. 

—

“YOU FUCKING IDIOT! ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO SKIP CLASS AGAIN” was the first thing Mingi heard that morning. Mingi had no idea how much he drank, but it was enough to give him a major migraine as soon as he woke up that morning. 

“Hush, Hwa. I have a cute guest sleeping” He could hear Hongjoong’s cute voice, as he felt a small had on his head. God, this man was too adorable for Mingi. 

“Just.. tell me why the fuck were you drinking on a week day. Even more when you have morning classes” Mingi opened his eyes, the lights piercing a bit too brightly.

“Like they are going to kick me out that easily. I’m a star student afterall” Hongjoong said, filled with pride.

_Huh, a star student who is an alcoholic who also slept with a stranger. Way to be an example for future students_.

“Mingi, you sure are adorable but you should really learn to keep your thoughts in you mi-“

“I really can’t live like this. You really are fucked” Mingi could hear the door close.  Noisy . 

Hongjoong popped back into the bed with Mingi, back into his arms. Mingi pulled the smaller man closer. He was warm, and Mingi really liked that.

“Sorry about him. Seonghwa’s just a grumpy person” The smaller said, as he tries to go back to sleep.

“He is very grumpy,” Mingi said, eyes slowly falling back to sleep, “but he is probably right. You shouldn’t skip your classes too often”

—

Mingi and Hongjoong, despite being so different like day and night, were able to hit it off quite nicely. In a matter of days they were inseparable, almost like they knew each other for years.

Hongjoong found Mingi to be very interesting. From his habit of talking to himself to the point like he is talking to someone at all, to his pleasure in learning anything and everything.

“You just picked this up how are you so good at it?” Hongjoong was staring at Mingi who was by his keyboard, 3 day into learning the piano and Mingi had no problem playing it.

“I’m a genius” Mingi said, boldly and proudly. As he raised his hands to play another key, the alarm on Mingi’s phone ringed, signaling that he had to be on his way to class. Mingi faced Hongjoong with a frown on his lips, he doesn’t want to go to hell.

Hongjoong laughs at the younger’s antics, walking up to him and petting his head. “C’mon, I’ll walk you there. I probably will go too, just so Seonghwa doesn’t scream at me again.”

Hongjoong lets out a laugh, the laugh that Mingi loves so much it managed a blush on his face.

It has been a little over a month since Mingi had met Hongjoong by the bridge. Ever since, Mingi spends the weekend with him, Hongjoong’s idea. He liked having Mingi around, he doesn’t drink as much when the younger is there.

He doesn’t want to admit it, but Hongjoong cant deny how adorable Mingi is sometimes. Hongjoong loves the way he smiles, it was brighter than the sun that he hates so much. He loves the way the younger is constantly eager to be himself, how he is bold with his decisions, how confident he can be when he knows exactly what he was doing.

They were in love with each other so badly, but neither of them will ever admit it.

Mingi waited for Hongjoong to get his laptop, like a large puppy waiting for his owner. “Hyung, hurry!” A cry escaped Mingi’s mouth.

—

The entire walk to campus was filled with laughter, smiles and they were overall in a good mood. Together, they didn’t care about the world, until they walk past Yunho and Yeosang.

“Hey Mingi. Haven’t seen you in a while.” Yunho said, pulling Mingi into a tight hug.

“Hey, Yun. I kinda need to hurry, I have class in 5 minutes. Talk to you later?” Mingi released himself from the hug. He saw Yunho’s face. He was taken aback, kinda sad his best friend was being difficult.

“Yeah, sure!” _Trying to be optimistic as usual. I wonder how he does it._

They waved goodbye to each other, and Mingi’s eyes met with Yeosang. “Be careful around Hongjoong. You only knew him for a month. ” Sharp and stern, scary even was all Mingi could sense from him.

Mingi’s mind was filled with questions. His mind couldn’t keep quiet.

_Did Yeosang knew Hongjoong?_

_How much did he knew? Hong long?_

_Were the friends?_

_Is he a bad guy?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not good at writing long chapters at all I’m so sorry. Also please be patient with me. This is the first work I have worked on.


End file.
